The physical pain of having to go through the miscarriage is what I'm experiencing right now since I opted for the natural way of managing it. For the past 2 days all I could feel is the painful separation of my little angel from my body.
After almost 1 month of bedrest and full medication, my last ultrasound showed that my supposedly-baby did not develop...I was really devastated. I cried hard.
Now I'm trying to accept it,because I know God has a better plan for us.
Today I went to my OB together with my hubby and Hermione (for emotional support) while we discuss on how to go about my situation. I was prescribed "premalin" to be taken for the next 3 days and will undergo Dilatation and Curretage procedure come Tuesday.
I have first-hand experience on how it feels to be on a "house-arrest". Since the accident, I never get the chance to go outside "alone". My days will go by: waking, eating, watching, reading, surfing,watching,eating,blogging,taking a bath, watching,sleeping...
Now, I'm really catching up on those TV series that I've missed, my playlist includes Alias, Prison Break, Gray's Anatomy, Desperate Housewives (I know...I know, they have to pay for condemning doctors in our country, but I'm desperate also you see....I needed to kill the time), Dr.House and also watch over and over again: Cake, A lot ike Love, The Devil Wears Prada, and other movies in my laptop.
But the thing is, I have to make most of my situation so I try to enjoy each day. Yesterday, I managed to sort out papers, bills, bank statements, etc. Don't be sorry for me, I get a chance to go to the mall, after my PT session, I'm a certified mall rat, you know that by now. What's sooooo frustrating is that I cannot shop for tops since I can't leap my shoulder, I can only fit shoes. Hay.
Once again, I'm home alone, my hubby went to office since I cannot report for work 'til first week of December, I spent my day in front of my laptop, browsing 'til my eyes popped. Yesterday, hubby dropped me off at Robinson while he went back to office after my physical therapy at Medical City. Since I cannot shopped for clothes obviously, I decided to have a foot massage. I missed pampering my self, then I went to McDonalds for snack while waiting for hubby to pick me up. At 7PM still no hubby, I went to grocery...walking...walking, I need to exercise you know!
At long last, we managed to get ourselves a threadmill. We decided to get our own threadmill than to enroll at a gym which will cost us no less than 4K a month for gym membership, not to mention the gas, food, parking fee and attire. Atleast we don't have to worry about time and whether we look good in our nike apparel hehe. Needless to say, we badly need a 15-minute run, especially hubby, he's getting bigger! For me, scrimping on health is definitely a no-no.
It's been 3 months now that I've been contemplating to buy a Tag Heuer AquaRacer, I just don't have the heart to buy one, although hubby already gave me the green light to do so, I will have to give in sometime...I know it because I want it so badly, anyway, I'm just letting time tick so I could think clearly hehe.
So many things happened last month...I was so busy with work, yes, work takes so much of my time. I work for 5 days - minimum of 12 hours a day and during weekends I'm out of town, conducting briefing. We were gone to General Santos City last October 23, I'm not feeling well enough to travel but I insisted, come Saturday morning when we were on our way to Koronadal, we met a vehicular accident. The van that we rented swerved several times after hitting a road sign which caused it rear tire to expload, the van rolled twice then skid off the main road. I just froze.
I prayed to God not to let any harm come to us while the van was making it turns. Fortunately, we survived the accident, with bone fractures and mild bruises, one of the passenger who happens to be our field personnel was in critical condition.
I felt so alone when I was confined in the provincial hospital, my hubby cannot go to GenSan right away since the flight is fully-booked. Our office managed to coordinate things for us while we were there. We were brought to Medical City straight from the airport.
I was happy that we were finally in Manila. Last Tuesday, I was confined again because of pneumonia and asthma. By Friday, I was allowed to go home to rest for the next two weeks while undergoing physical therapy.
My hubby never left my side, he takes care of me like a baby.
Yes, this is my second life...and I intend to make it the best I could have.
I'm a bit grumpy today...I don't know, I went to bed earlier than usual last night and woke up later than I'm used to. I'm not sure, maybe too much work it taking a tall on me.
At long last, I finally got the chance to update my resume - by tomorrow, I'll be able to complete everything because I need to dig my files for the trainings that I have attended. I intend to have a consultancy job before the end of the year, so by next year, I'll have something to do besides planning for weddings - then I can finally give up my full time job. Yes! That's my plan. Honestly, it's the need to have a steady income that keeps me from walking out here, you see, I'm used to supporting myself, eventhough my hubby will definitely provide for me, I don't want to feel "needy" in a way. I will feel guilty for shopping hehe.
Last June, I ventured to a business with my old-time friend and its giving positive yield...so money is no more an issue...however, I feel that I needed to do something since I'm used to working and not just plain working but working to death, it will definitely be a big change for me. So, I'm preparing myself to have something to be busy with and that will be consultancy jobs - and - wedding planning! It's not that I do not want my job, I love my job, its very challenging and I learn a lot from it but its really demanding, and the pay is not that lucrative. It's taking so much of my time - my life...
Name: JV Home: Manila, Philippines About Me: 30-something. A wife to a wonderful husband. A mother to my little chinita. Career Woman by Choice. A Coffee Drinker.Shopaholic.Book Lover.Blogger.Movie Addict. Know me more
